Family Fridays

   November is Boys rock month.  A wonderful family shared their story of adopting an older boy and I want to share it here.  Juliette wrote this for me and she has been a great source of support for Superkids.  We met her son and had many conversations about what kind of boy he is and how he would fit into their family.  He is one of the sweetest boys I have ever met.  He has really done well and is a wonderful addition to their family.  Read about their adoption here and remember, 

Boys ROCK!!!

   

Almost two years ago, my husband Tom and I decided we wanted to adopt again. We were not sure if we wanted another son or another daughter. We were sure that we were getting a little older and a baby was out of the picture. That was when we saw Pin Pin. He had just turned seven and had been in foster care his entire life (save the first 6 months or so). We were both nervous and excited at the prospect of adopting an older child. How would he adjust to being taken away from everything he has every known? How would he adjust coming into a family and being the baby? What had his life been like in foster care? How would we handle the language barrier? There were so many “what-ifs”….Surely, the questions would not be answered until he was actually a part of our family and could tell us, so we put them in the back of our minds and contacted Pat Marcus, who had just returned from meeting Henry and several other children residing in foster care or at the Shanghai Orphanage. What happened next was pretty amazing. Pat called us back right away and gave us information on Henry regarding his special need, her assessment of his gross/fine motor skills and where he was socially. She even had a little video of him playing soccer with a friend. So while the questions we had initially were not to be answered yet, so much more was. He was healthy. He was developing normally. He had a strong spirit. That was enough. We knew he would be our son! Nine months passed rather quickly, and before we knew it, were on our way to Shanghai to meet our son. We brought two of our children with us, Noah (9) and Leah (9) to help ease the transition with Henry and so they could experience China and its wonderful culture. We all waited nervously with other families as the children were being brought in one by one. Most of the kids were three or younger and in a bit of shock as they came in and were handed over to the loving arms of the moms and dads who had waited so long for this precise moment. In a matter of seconds, families were changed forever- this moment- such a defining one in ALL our lives’- was so monumental we were speechless and everyone in the room broke out in tears of joy, happiness, wonderment and relief. I was getting more nervous, as I knew that I would not get to scoop Henry out of the arms of a nanny and carry him around. He already had a history; almost eight years living with foster grandparents and their extended family. He had friends. School. His being had begun to take shape and he was already independent in so many ways. He had a voice. He had likes and dislikes and a personality. I knew we would take our cues from him when we met for the first time. Then he walked in. He was sweating and nervous. We could see his heart pounding through his shirt as he nervously walked over to us and handed us gifts. He immediately attached to Noah and Leah, relieved to see others he could identify with on some level. We signed papers and left to get settled in at the hotel and eat and get to know each other. The rest of our time in China was filled with paperwork, adventure and bonding. By the second day, when we had to go and tell the government that, “YES, we want to continue with the adoption,” Henry was bounding up the stairs telling everyone he could that we were his “mama and baba” and that we had finally come for him…we finally found him. Now, we have been a family for a year. Tom and I look at each other everyday amazed at Henry’s progress and how he has just fit right in as if he had always been here. Henry talks each and every day about his life in China and even wants to go back to visit someday. He has told us funny stories, sad stories, and heartwarming stories. One of the things we love best is that he has a very clear memory of his past, an unexpected gift when adopting an older child. Henry has brought us so much joy and has completed our family. There are so many older boys and girls who are up for adoption. They NEED homes. They WANT a forever family. They DESERVE a chance. They deserve for their mamas and babas to finally find them.    -  Juliette Howard

 October 15th, 2012- Gotcha day

 Two Months Home 

 Six months home and sharing a recipe foster grandma used to make for him: 

One Year Home

Remember......  BOYS ROCK!

New Superkids volunteer

I would like to introduce you to our newest volunteer!  Her name is Amy and this year for her birthday she asked for a special gift.  Instead of presents, she wanted her friends to each donate a toy for Children in orphanages in China.  They contacted me and we narrowed down the focus to toys for young children from the JiangXi province.  Yesterday I got to meet Amy.   She has a special spirit, a heart for doing something for children she does not even know.  When Amy and I met, we discussed what the orphanages were like in the JiangXi province.  We looked at pictures of some of the children from JiangXi.  She asked questions and really got the idea that what she was doing would mean so much to the young children who wait.   Gongzhan of course was there and helped convey our great appreciation to Amy. Amy got to put her Chinese lessons to use speaking with Gongzhan. It was a great event.

Amy

 Amy and Lynne

Gongzhan, Amy and Pat

Amy has a special spirit, a heart for doing something for children she does not even know.

You know what was most important about this project.  We are seeing and building a heart for waiting children. Amy's mom, Lynne, and her friend Lisa asked me to speak with Amy's Kids club a year ago. They were part of the CCCWA quilt project. We had a great time talking about waiting children and then they tried out all my sensory toys.  Amy has a special heart.  Meeting with her, and her friends, only supports and begins to nurture the spirit of giving back.  I am so happy to be passing this spirit and love for waiting children on to a new generation.

Thank you to Amy for her special heart and wanting to improve the quality of life for these waiting children. Amy-you are awesome!    

Boys Rock!

Of course boys rock!  So do girls, and so does adoption.  Boys are at a disadvantage however and we are trying to level the field. I see time and time again, girls with the same needs as boys get picked first and the boys wait.  And wait, and wait.  I tried to find some numbers on this but could not get any stats.  From past shared lists,  I have seen lists that are mostly boys.  There are more and more boys in the orphanages.  I observe this in the orphanages I visit. 

So this is adoption awareness month, we want to highlight this situation.  We are going to highlight 30 boys for the 30 days of this month.  You can read the daily post here.  So remember, Boys Rock!Here are some cutie pies from the first four days of the month. 

I do want to say,  we love our girls so much too.  We want every child to find a home, a family and all the love they deserve.  The boys are just at a disadvantage.  So, adoption, girls and boys rock!

If you want anymore information on these cute boys, contact me at patriciamarcuspt@gmail.com

 

They Are All Perfect

Today is Orphan Sunday and November is national adoption awareness month. I would like to take some time to discuss changes I have seen since 2007 when I first started going to China.  In 2007 we saw many, many babies.  There were considerably less older children and the numbers seemed large but there was a lot of movement.  Changes in children, comings and goings in great numbers.  Special needs adoption was so much less frequent.  On one trip to China, two china caseworkers accompanied the Superkids team.  They talked a lot about the babies,  the little girls who would be adopted as healthy infants.  Even then, boys and girls in the orphanages seemed to me to be in roughly equal numbers. I remember being surprised what was considered a special need.  Such minor things, a missing finger or arm, a missing ear, heart issues, were all special needs.  I cried almost every night on that trip.  If everyone was only talking about infant adoption, how would all my kids ever be adopted.  Right away I knew who my kids were.  Kids with needs who were maybe not perfect in the world's definition but certainly perfect in mine.  I waited patiently for them to become someones sons and daughters. Sadly many of them did not find forever families.

Fast forward now to 2013.  On our trip this summer we saw 130 children.  I know that is a large number. for the first time since 2008, I saw two healthy infants.  One boy and one girl.  Most of the children we saw had a mild correctable needs or a need that could be improved with rehabilitation.  We did see a few children who will have lifelong needs, like children who were deaf mute or children who were born with Downs syndrome.  Most of the children were in pretty good shape.  We saw an age range of children from three months old to 13 years old.  In many ways there has been positive movement here.  These children are no longer in orphanages just waiting.  I am no longer patiently waiting.  I am shouting from the rooftops about all the wonderful children we have met.  The entire Superkids team is shouting right along with me.  And some of this shouting is getting attention because these children are being adopted.  We are all working HARD to show everyone how beautiful, special, and yes, perfect they are. Because they are!  They deserve our attention, our love and our consideration. Also there are more boys than girls who wait.  you can look at the shared list and see this easily.    

I would like to share this thought with you.  A very special smart adoptive mom once told me, if I would not reject my biological child with a special need, why would I not adopt a child with a special need if i feel they could be my child.  Special need or not they will be my child.  So in many ways there is cause to rejoice and cause to work harder. Attitudes are changing.  Our world is changing.  Children who were sitting in orphanages in 2007 are coming home. They will fit into families and lead full active lives.  They will love and be loved. We will never stop shouting from the rooftops about these wonderful children who have found their families and about all those who still wait.

So consider this on Orphan Sunday.  Could you parent a child who is waiting? Lets help every child find their forever family.

Peace,
Pat

You can contact me at Patriciamarcuspt@gmail.com.  Visit our "Boys Rock" post on the Asia Waiting Child blog by clicking here   30 boys in 30 days because being a boy should not be a special need.

.    

The Seashell

I was on vacation last week in Nova Scotia. It is beautiful and I got some much needed rest. I found something when I was there that I would like to share with you. On this beautiful beach, I found one perfect, delicate seashell. Why is this remarkable? Well you don't find many seashells in Nova Scotia because it sticks out into the Atlantic and there is a lot of pounding crashing surf due to the geography of the coast line. While holding this shell, it suddenly hit me. This is just like our Waiting Children.

They are tossed and tumbled in the waters and end up on the shore. They are each perfect and unique. The cracks and wear from the ocean only make them more beautiful. They are my seashell. They make it to us. We pick them up and move them to a new place and we discover they are more beautiful than we ever imagined seeing them on the beach. We are the lucky ones. We find this amazing gift, this wonderful child who has been through the crashing surf. This child is only beginning to be their most beautiful, loved and appreciated. Still, we are the lucky ones when a child comes into our lives.

So, next time you see a waiting child think how unique and special they are. We are in a place to celebrate differences endorse uniqueness and rejoice at individuality. Even better, we can give that seashell a home, a place where it will be even more beautiful on the beach.

Here are a few beautiful, unique, amazing seashells.

 

This and That

What does this and that mean?  Well, its odds and ends.  How is everything with our Superkids going?  This has been our focus the past 2 weeks.  We all pause at least daily and think of the children waiting for homes.  Our connection to them is strong.  We see their profiles as they come in bunches from China.  I dream about them.  Dream of each and every one finding their forever families. We look for profiles coming, who's next.   We are questioning, looking, and once again visiting with the kids through their pictures.  It is so important to give prospective adoptive parents every little scrap of info we can. We take copious notes when we are in China.  We want to remember every scrap of information.  Erin and I will ofter call each other and share a special story about a waiting child, like remember when... Or do you remember his sweet smile.  Or that was the child who liked the stuffed doggie toy.  We rejoice when every child finds a family.

So in general we are connecting the dots,  pulling info together for families.   So in general this and that is pretty important this and that!  Here are some pictures of some of our kiddos who still wait.  Could they be your son or daughter?

 

Special kiddo with a big personality.

We met Austin on the final day of our Superkids trip this Summer.  He has a big personality and filled the room with energy.  He was smiling continuously and we met him with his best friend. They go to school and live in the same setting.  It amazed me how well Austin made himself understood with just gestures.  Austin is deaf mute and does not sign.  Austin also has another medical need.   He is going to a special school but has not learned much Sign language. We tried some simple ASL and our Guide tried some sign that he is familiar with in China.  We did not get a response.  No worries, Austin was able to make himself understood well.

 Austin wanted his picture taken. Austin wanted a turn with the iPad.  Austin told us what he wanted and we understood.  He loves his best friend and hugged him.  He was cool, but not too cool to hug his best friend. Austin communicated it all.  Austin has been an orphan longer than he can remember.

 Austin need someone to love him.  To nurture him.  To help this incredible child grow into adulthood and maximize his potential.  He is an amazing person who is so ready for a family to love him and to treat him as the special amazing individual he is.  Austin just turned 13 so the need is urgent.  If he reaches 14 he will not be able to be adopted. Could Austin be your son?

Would you like to learn more about Austin?  you can read Chelsea's amazing advocacy post  Here
If you want more information on Austin contact me at Patriciamarcuspt@gmail.com or Lindsay.miller@gladney.org.