Ask The Experts... Father's Day Edition

What is your favorite thing about your dad?

That he plays "Chopped Kids" with us. (Steve creates cooking competitions for our kiddos) - Yu Yu Willett, age 10.

He plays flips and airplanes with me. - Andie Clements,  age 4

He lets me work with him. - Khloe Kennett- age 6

He takes me to gas stations and lets me get whatever junk food I want. - Charlotte, age 8

That he tells me I am beautiful and kisses me every night. - Eliana age 9

What is something funny your dad always does?

He makes funny faces sometimes, and his snoring is pretty funny. - Khloe Kennett, age 6

He played Christmas music all year long.

We saw our dad throwing away some shoes...that was really funny wasn’t it, Mom? (Sam (5) and Andie (4) Clements after watching their dad make a goodwill donation 

 He says we are going to have stinky sock soup for dinner! Yu Yu, age 10 and Rosielin, age 8

He farts! - 😂Charlotte age 8, from Wuwei, China.

He sings really loud in the shower. - Annika age 11

"It is not flesh and blood, but the heart which makes us fathers and sons." - Von Schiller

A Few Thoughts on Fatherhood

This year, my thoughts of fatherhood are intertwined with the concept of sonship. What does it mean to be a son (or daughter)? Being a father is about the relationship. The same is true for being a son. Just as my father’s relationship with me defines him as a father, my relationship with him is what makes me his son.

The relationships between us (as parents) and our children (as sons and daughters) are complex and multifaceted.  These are not one way relationships.  This can be particularly challenging for our adopted, step, and foster children because this relationship likely was not in place from our children’s first breath.  This week I have been taking time to reflect on the dynamics of the powerful and chosen relationship that is formed through adoption.

As adoptive parents, we had months, if not years, to prepare for our new relationship with our child.  But for many of our children, this relationship began the moment a caretaker or social worker introduced them to us.  This places an awesome opportunity, but also a great burden of responsibility, on us as parents, to guide our children in building healthy relationships with us.

Being a biological or genetic father does not automatically make you a parent to a child. This is not to diminish the importance of genetics and nature. Being a father is about the relationship, not the genes.

My father has been a wonderful role model for me. Was he the perfect father? He would be the first to admit that he was not. Is this a criticism? Of course not! There is no perfect earthly father. But he did his best (and still does) to provide for our family, set an example of a loving father, and show me and my brother the value of hard work.  Despite falling short of my father’s (and mother’s!) expectations on many occasions, I know my father’s love for me never wavered. My hope is that the love shown to me and the values instilled in my character will be passed down to my own children.

This post ended up being “deeper” than I had initially intended! If nothing else, at least this provided me the opportunity to express my feelings in writing about being a father and a child. I want to wish all the other dads out there a Happy Father’s Day.  We have a fantastic opportunity to impact the lives of our children.  I pray that we not only seize this opportunity, but relish and enjoy the fleeting time we have with our children.  May we set an example of fatherhood that will resonate for generations to come.

Written by Greg Cowan, a 2x Gladney dad and dad to 3 gorgeous children.

Summertime Fun Questions Series!

We are starting a new blog series featuring questions that we are asking families in our Gladney China families Facebook group. (Hang on Taiwan families! We have something fun planned for your kiddos this summer too!)

We spend so much time here on the blog advocating for children who need families. But the real focus is bringing families together. So over the summer we are going to be asking our families to ask their kids some questions and we will share their answers here.

We are also asking children to draw and/or color pictures for us to use on the blog. We are excited to shine a light on children this summer!

Today's question is:

Of all the things you are learning, what do you think will be the most useful when you are an adult?

And here are some of the answers:

 Learning to control myself and not be annoying to others.

Learning to do homework and draw is going to help her be a mom and have a baby.

English because it helps you communicate.

Reading, because then I can learn anything. 

Respecting so I won't get in too much trouble.

Learning about God's instructions.

Learning how to count money and pay the right amount for things and learning math!

To learn to be a good person and not say hateful words.

Thank you all for participating! There is a new question in the Facebook group for next week.  We have a pretty wise group of children, obviously!

Drawing credit goes to Brooklyn Heirl this week! Thank you, Brooklyn! 

A Father’s Day Thought - You Complete Me

The crew on my birthday

As I was putting my son to bed one night recently he asked me something to the effect, “Daddy why did you adopt me?”  If you have an adoption story you have likely heard or will hear this question many times.  I have answered this question before but this time I gave it a different thought.  See we had also just come off our third adoption and I kind of sensed the question is really more about why did you do this or need to do this?  

So I told my son as honestly as I could that we did not need to adopt him or his sisters to his surprise. As I explained, because when you need something it is more of an act of instinct, or survival so the satisfaction in the act is limited. No, when I thought about his question, I smiled and told him, “Buddy, I wanted you!” I chased after you with all the love of my heart for you and your sisters. All the long nights of paperwork, and worry.  All the driving around and chasing the next authentication or deadline, was not something I needed to do but I wanted to do. 

I wanted and chased after all my children as one who loves with reckless abandonment until that day when I had my children in my arms and peace settled into the deepest part of my soul.   That moment happened a year ago last Father’s day, after a long trip to bring home my precious daughter, we just happened to have Father’s day weekend as our first weekend home. As we sat around the table having lunch, an overwhelming feeling hit me and turned to my wife and said, “This is right, this is what we were meant to be as a family”.   

My little ones, my loves, you completed me that Father’s Day and every Father’s Day for all time.

- Written by a 3x Gladney dad, Dwight Richmond

Family Friday

We have matches to announce!! Congratulations to the excited families! We hope your paperwork goes smoothly and quickly!

Help us congratulate them by liking and sharing this post.

Andy {Taiwan}

Are you ready for some baby boy cuteness in your day. Prepare to lose your heart!

Meet Andy! He will celebrate his 1st birthday next week! Wouldn't a family be an amazing birthday gift for him?!

This sweet little guy is on medication for seizures and they appear to be well controlled.

He is crawling and can sit unassisted. He loved watching himself in the mirror and his expressions were so cute as he made himself laugh. He can pull to a stand with jus a little support.

He vocalizes but was not saying words when we met him in April. He responded to his name and laughed easily.

This baby needs a family! Please contact mary.chapman@gladney.org for more information. Don't forget to join our private Facebook group for pictures and videos we can't share publicly.

Leonard

Leonard's file was completed back in 2016 and he has been waiting for a family since then. He is  now 7 years old. We met him several times, the last time being in October 2016. He is such a handsome little guy! We have requested an update and will let you know when we get new pictures.

Leonard is a quiet, observant little guy. He has cerebral palsy and when we last met him he was learning to walk with a walker. He mostly got around by crawling. I can't wait to get an update and see how he has progressed!

He likes playing with cars and building with blocks. He can use his arms well for fine motor activities. He strings beads and likes to cut paper and draw. He is a great favorite among his teachers because he is so cheerful and compliant. He likes to please adults and smiles when they praise him.

This sweet little guy needs a family! Could he be your son? Please contact us at superkids@gladney.org for more information.