I am thrilled that I have kids of both genders, since I came from a household of all girls. Boys add a different dimension! As a pediatrician, I enjoy seeing both boys and girls. Let me tell you a story of my youngest son as we come up on the completion of his first year at home.
Our son was listed as having multiple medical problems. In reviewing the file, it was apparent that all the medical issues were resolved. His special need was that he was a boy and he was eight. He was in a foster family in China for 7 years. Adoption is a step of faith, because of the unknowns. Here was our list of unknowns/worries …
1) Grief: We expected that there may be a lot of grief after leaving his foster family. It was explained to us that foster care is really viewed as a temporary solution. I don’t know how this is communicated, but we were surprised that we haven’t seen more sadness yet. He shares stories of his family, so we have gotten a glimpse of his life.
2) Language: We initially use a translator on our phones and the in-country interpreter to communicate big concepts. With our sample size of two adoptions, we are always amazed at how quickly they learn English. Tad wanted to start school right away. He went to school one week after getting home. The school used the iPad for translation for a couple of weeks (no person available to interpret) and then he was fine without it.
3) Life lived: We were worried about all the life that he had already lived. Older kids come with more baggage. Life in a foster family versus an orphanage certainly worked to his advantage. He understands what it means to be in a family and how to build relationships. I am thankful for his foster family who certainly invested in him.
Tad was listed as clever and introverted. The first moment that I met him as he tip toed through the room like a monkey told me that introvert was incorrect! He is full of life, with boredom being his biggest challenge. Clever is spot on. He is a whiz… at anything he tries. He was top of the class in China and now in America. He probably knows more than the rest of the family about the 50 states, US presidents, world geography, etc. He is a precious 9 year old boy. It isn't always easy, but it isn't always easy with any of our children. We are so glad we took this step of faith. He is a blessing to our family!